It all comes down to an almond
I really believe in the power of diet to affect my pelvic pain. I live on a weighed and measured food plan as I have for the past ten+ years. I’m a food addict and lost about 50 pounds in a self-help program. I don’t eat flour/wheat, sugar, or artificial sweeteners. My chemical sensitivities preclude dairy, vinegar, and a host of other foods. Plus, I do my best to stay away from foods that flare up my symptoms. For instance, strangely, carrots and green beans, brown rice, the healthiest food on the planet, I think. Though I have to say that rice cakes seem, oddly, ok. I really want to be a vegetarian, but soy gives me headaches and beans, well, need I say more?
Sometimes, I’m in a hurry and want to be able to make a quick, simple meal. Nuts. That’s a great idea. But having tried a wide variety, I can tell that I flare. But right now, I’m unwilling to give up almonds. My diet is so bland, so every day the same, that I just need a bit of variety in order to maintain the willingness to do what has worked for me for the past ten years.
But almonds, I love them. Though food is no longer entertainment, I must admit to enjoying the texture and crunch. I weigh 1.5 oz at a meal and that is enough for me.
However, the burn and sometimes, urgency to pee, is often increased within hours and certainly by the next day. In the evening after eating them, when I use my lidocaine, I want to jump through the roof. Sometimes the burning gets so bad I cannot cross my legs. And sometimes, I don’t notice it at all … especially on nights I don’t use the lidocaine. I can ignore the burn until I eat them for a number of meals (because I think I’m “getting away with it” since, for some reason and sometimes, there is no palpable pain). But then, when I remember my lidocaine or we try to have sex (not me and the almond, but my husband and I), oh boy does the pain rear its ugly head. But a nagging doubt persists that maybe there was something else going on too.
So, why can’t I stop eating almonds? No, the question is more, “why WON’T I stop eating almonds?” I do sometimes for a month or so, and often the pain subsides. I think it comes down to that gray area about which I often speak. How much pain am I willing to tolerate? My mind playing tricks too - oh, maybe it isn’t the almonds - because sometimes, it doesn’t burn. And with my sensitivities, there could be so many factors contributing.
But I know that without almonds, or any other nuts, it would be one less factor.
There is no answer to this problem. Living life with these conditions requires compromise and acceptance for me. My actions lead to certain results. That’s just how it is. So I cannot bewail my fate if I can take an action to change a consequence … but I choose not to do so.
Therefore, it all comes down to an almond. And what choices I will make just for today.