My saving grace
This isn’t the beginning of my crazy story but I think if I tried to write the entire thing everyone’s eyes would cross and you all would never want to read again! Lol. I’ll start with the important stuff.
When I was 16 yrs old I started getting that funny burning feeling whenever I’d go to the bathroom, run too much, work out too hard, get too stressed out, or try to have any kind of sexual activity. It came and went over the next few years but never stayed around long enough to make me want to talk about it or have to tell anyone that my vagina felt like I had been sitting on a blow torch. That somedays is hurt so bad it made me sick to my stomach, get the chills, and have to attempt to pee every 3 seconds…unsuccessfully. I tried to tell myself that I had done something that made me deserve this and that when it was meant to go away it would. For a long time I just passed it off and tried to continue on with my life which kind of, sort of worked until my second year in college.
I came down with a nasty, devil horned, fire breathing, extra burny, bad karma having UTI when I was 18. I let it go for too long and ended up in the hospital for 3 days. They put me on massive amounts of antibiotics and told me to check back in in 2 weeks. 2 weeks later I was feeling much better and it almost seemed as if everything went away. One week after that I was in the worst place of my life which continued on until about 8 months ago. After it got really bad I went through 4 more emergency room visits, 5 different gynos, 3 new urologists, about 12 different other kinds of doctors, 2 laparoscopies, endoscopies, and colonoscopies, every ultrasound offered in the world, to have them tell me that there was nothing wrong. That it was in my head and that I needed to see a therapist. Great! Thanks. Very helpful!
I ended up taking a 4 month medical leave from my job because it was to the point where I couldn’t even stand up or walk very well let alone make it through 5 minutes without running to the bathroom 435 times. I went home to stay with my parents in Pennsylvania until we could figure something out. One day, after spending hours on the phone trying to get appointments with every uro-gyno I could find in the country my cousin told me in passing about this doctor she had went to that she thought might be able to help me. I reluctantly made the call thinking that the receptionist was going to brush me off or they were going to tell me that they didn’t have anything available until August of 2010. It was the first ray of light that I had seen in years. I got off the phone with Janet from Dr. E’s office that day and cried for hours because for the first time in forever I felt like someone understood and didn’t think I was crazy.
I began treatments with Dr. E in December of 2006 for IC, Vulvodynia, and Pelvic Floor Dysfunction. I changed my entire diet, took my meds religiously, went to physical therapy, changed my negative attitude about life into a positive driving force, got rid of my stupid boyfriend that never understood the pain, studied every single aspect of IC and painful bladder syndrome and jumped head first into the IC and sexual pain enlightenment movement.
The more we talk the more they can’t ignore it anymore. The more we tell our stories the more young women feel comfortable speaking out about their pain. This is something that affects so many women and even some unlucky men and we all just need to be heard. Our pain isn’t weakness at all but something that helps build up our inner self and gives us the strength to pull through no matter what kind of setbacks our bodies throw at us. Stay strong!
I need to say thank you to Dr. E (and everyone at the office) for being my saving graces and to Susan for giving me the opportunity to get this all out. I don’t know where I would’ve been if it wasn’t for the all of you! You’ve helped me more than you can ever know.